when will I learn?

This week, I had a nice conversation with my Ex on the telephone. No fight, no talk about money, very pleasant, nice chit chat and then we hung up. Well, I thought about how much I enjoyed the talk and wanted to say thank you for it with a nice text message to his cellphone.

So I go to my cellphone, got the message all figured out, want to sign it with "Love - Claudia" and tell him how much I miss talking to him, when it hit me: he is no longer my sweetheart and no longer the recipient of such sweet messages of mine!!! No, siree!!!

Hello?! Memo to Claudia: HE DIVORCED YOU A YEAR AGO!!! Get it? Duhhh....

Problem is whenever he is on the phone, my heart goes a few beats faster than normal. And when I have him right in front of me, it gets even worst! I look at him and think "YUMMY!" and want to take him home with me..., after all, he was my husband for over ten years, shouldn't I be allowed to take him home? Oh wait, there is that thing again: HE DIVORCED ME!!!

My head gets it and is making a good job of securing that I work on my independent woman kind a life... You know, the life where you bring home your own bacon and cook it as well? Problem is you also have to eat it - ALONE!!! Not much fun at times if you ask my heart, but nobody ever does. It's like they all assume that I have adjusted to this life all by myself by now...

So of course I did not send the text message to him that day..., I went to the fridge and got some chocolate instead! Not so perfect either, if you ask me..., if I continue this habbit, I may need some new clothes sooner or later! And this woman ain't bringing home enough bacon for that!